Keep Myself Awake
by Idream3223
Summary: Set in Dead to the World- Hallow cursed Eric to lose his memories and go to his heart's desire, but what if she had tracked him to continue his punishment ? E/S, AU, OOC
1. Chapter 1

Set in Dead To The World- Hallow cursed Eric to lose his memories and go to his heart's desire, but what if she had tracked him to continue his punishment ?

**Keep Myself Awake**

We come into this world naked and screaming, with no baggage, but from that moment on each event, each scar, each loss marks us irrevocably. They color our actions, judgments and weight us down to the ground when what we really want to do more than anything else is fly. To lose those memories, those markers by which we define ourselves and chart our course would be terrifying and freeing all at once. If you could leave all that behind you might gain the freedom to be fearless, to trust, to believe, to love, to fly. You might have the courage to fearlessly reach for your heart's desire

Sookie's mind was racing in circles as she ran to the cemetery and collapsed on top of Gran's grave sobbing as though her heart would break. At first, she had no breath to speak, it was all spent in tears and panting from her run. Her running away. The sounds of the night stopped and gave her center stage as she poured her heart out in the small Bon Temps cemetery. "Gran, oh, Gran! Where are you? I need you so much right now!" Her sobs broke in again. "You…you wouldn't understand, you would never ever do what I have done! I know that, but he was in so much pain, I did the only thing I could!"

She collapsed then, the weight of the past twenty four hours crushing her mentally and physically. "You wouldn't understand, why I did what I did, but…you would still love me, Gran, even if you didn't understand." She stopped then and imagined sitting at her kitchen table telling her story, the look that would be on Gran's face, and her tears began to slow. She sat up, still kneeling and wiped her cheeks. She hiccupped as she wiped her face with the back of her hand and the last twenty four hours began to play out in her mind.

Somewhere far away she heard herself begin to speak, and the ghosts gathered round her, unseen and unknown, to listen.

"I fell asleep last night holding the hand of a thousand year old Viking vampire who had lost his memory. I picked him up on the side of the road and brought him home. It was the right thing…the only thing I could do. He was in trouble, and you taught me to never turn away someone who was in need…"

_24 hours earlier..._

When she had opened her eyes she found herself no longer in her bed, but in a warehouse. Her vampire was chained to a small cot with silver and there was a woman in the room with them. She jumped up from the floor, and moved to stand in front of the woman who was staring down at Eric, smiling as he suffered under the silver. Without hesitation Sookie placed herself between the woman and Eric, trying in some way to protect him when he could not protect himself. "Who the hell are you?" she demanded of the woman staring her directly in the eye, trying to listen to her thoughts and figure out where they were, and what was happening now. The woman drew herself up to her full height, looming over Sookie, her eyebrow raised as her lips curved into a chilling smile.

"So, Viking, this is your heart's desire?" She looked Sookie over from head to toe, judging her, comparing her, to herself evidently. Eric tried to rise under the silver, growling.

"Stay away from her, witch!" he managed to grind out and still sound intimidating despite his current position. Only Eric could threaten someone when he was down and make it sound believable, Sookie thought before focusing all of her attention on his words and the woman before her.

"Witch? What the hell? Witches are real?" The woman laughed and the hair on the back of Sookie's neck stood on end. They were in trouble. She was in trouble. Again.

"You can call me, Hallow, human," she said bowing mockingly to Sookie. "I am the one who took his memory." Eric snarled again, and she heard the chains rattle and the tiny cot he was tied to shook as though it were coming apart behind her. She didn't dare turn to look.

"Why?" she asked Hallow still trying to read her, but she was having trouble getting through her snarly thoughts. Were, her mind told her, and she redoubled her efforts to get in, to find the truth that might save them both.

"No man refuses me." Sookie laughed, probably not the most intelligent response but she was nearly hysterical at this point, and was not thinking clearly.

"What makes you so damned special? Men refuse me all the time!" she asked still laughing. Hallow's face constricted in rage that she turned full force at Sookie now.

"Many things make me special, but you will see that soon for yourself. You won't be laughing then." She turned back to Eric and her tone became colder still. "All you had to do was let me have you for a little while, what hardship would that have been for one such as you? But, no you had to humiliate me, and then you killed my emissary, which as you may have deduced from your current state, was something I anticipated." She licked her lips then, as her eyes passed over his long frame. "Pleasuring me would have been much preferable to the silver."

"I doubt it," Eric responded, still sounding in control and powerful as he raked her from head to toe with his eyes, and curled his lips in contempt. Rather than pull back, Hallow moved closer still, taking his lips in a kiss that he could not avoid shackled as he was. She bit his lip and drank his blood greedily from the wound.

"MMMMMMM," she moaned pulling back now, her eyes dilating as the ancient blood passed into her system. "The spell I cast, do you know what it did, vampire?" She was so high on his blood her words were slurring as she spoke. "It stripped you of everything but your core essence and sent you running to your heart's desire. To the one you really wanted. To," she turned now to look at Sookie again, "this puny human. She is what you hold above all things." Sookie was reeling. Eric held her above all things? Since when? This bitch was crazy and there was no doubt about it now. "So, now, I am going to give you what you want, Eric. I am going to give you what you want above all things." Again, Eric tried to rise, shaking the bed but still not managing to free himself.

"Don't fight, Viking. Everything here is either already under my spell or will be momentarily Tonight, I will show you that she is not worthy of you, and you will destroy the thing you love the most." She stepped back then away from the bed and away from Sookie and started to speak in a language that Sookie didn't understand. She was now getting flashes from Hallow's mind and had managed to figure out that she had wanted Eric, he had refused and insulted her. Now she was casting a spell that would enslave them both. The images in her mind scared and excited Sookie all at once, but they were coming too fast for her to process. She saw her and Eric locked in a passionate embrace…she saw Eric drain her, dropping her lifeless corpse on the floor before turning to Hallow and taking her into his arms.

"No!" she screamed and rushed at Hallow, not sure if she was denying the first image, the second, or the woman's action itself, only knowing that she had to stop her from finishing that spell no matter what. Just as she reached Hallow, planning to tackle her to the ground the chanting stopped and Hallow disappeared from the room, leaving her alone with Eric.

Immediately, she turned back to Eric and began trying to removing the chains. He groaned each time she pulled, but they seemed to be attached to his flesh.

"Stop, Sookie," he grunted after her third attempt to remove them. "She has spelled the chains. They are not going to come off." He sound tired and defeated now and she felt a little warmth in her heart when she realized he didn't feel as though he had to put on a show for her. She sat back, on the floor beside him, taking his hand in hers between the chains to offer comfort or to take it, she wasn't sure which.

"What happened after I fell asleep, Eric?" her voice barely a whisper now as she took in his beaten and bleeding form, worry for him filling her heart.

"I know not, we were there in your bed, and then we were here. You woke almost as soon as we arrived in this place." He rolled his eyes now, to take in as much as he could of their environment. "Dawn is still a few hours away." She nodded and squeezed his hand. He was shirtless still, and silver was burning into his chest, she was still in her pajamas she noticed as she rose to look for a way out. It didn't take long to realize that while the warehouse was large there were no visible doors or windows. Another spell, she thought as she walked around. It's here, I just can't see it. Would that keep him safe if she couldn't get them out before the sun rose? She had started back to him when the first rush of magic hit her. She gasped and stopped.

She felt the tendrils move around her body and settle between her thighs, entering her body, and suddenly, she was filled with desire. Desire for Eric. She stood still fighting it as hard as she could, not even moving, but no matter how she fought her desire grew until she could feel nothing but how much she wanted him. She was holding on managing not to move when she heard him scream. His pain jolted her into motion, freeing her senses momentarily and sending her to his side.

"W-what's wrong, Eric?" she fell to her knees taking his hand again.

"Get away from me!" he yelled at her, trying to pull away but not able to move. His fangs were down and his eyes were wild now.

"What's wrong? Tell me!" she shouted at him now, more scared for him than she had been for herself. Her eyes traveled his body as he growled and twisted in the silver before her and that was when she saw it. He was engorged, his jeans barely containing his arousal. Her mouth went dry, and the ache between her thighs came back with a vengeance. She wanted him, and he wanted…what?

"Get away!" he screamed again. He wanted her to get away. She released his hand, and sat back confused and aching while his screams and growls grew louder in proportion to the size of his increasing erection. It was then she realized what was happening. This was the spell the witch had cast. She had done this to them. The realization brought another wave of wracking desire coursing through her body. Knowing a thing doesn't change it, she thought incoherently as she moved closer to him, needing to comfort him, to ease his pain, to ease her own.

"Please, Sookie," he was begging now, blood tears in his eyes. "Please get away from me. I- I don't want to hurt you." He was writhing in pain now, forcing the silver deeper into his flesh in purpose, on accident she couldn't tell, but she wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to suppress his own desire with the pain. She felt the magic, and the need to touch him, to get closer to him, course through her again, and with it came the last thing she expected, a sense of peace. She saw it then, all of it.

She saw him stake Long Shadow, looking at her in surprise and desire. She saw him patching her wounds in Dallas, and then taking a bullet for her. She saw him in Jackson as he carried her up the stairs like Rhett himself, and later when he held her and kissed her passionately, offering his blood to give her strength. Flashes of him and in all his glory in that cheap little convenience store where he entered like a king returned to proclaim her is "future lover." She saw him running down the road, terrified, but trusting her. She saw him in her kitchen with his feet bleeding, ghosting down her hall in his tiny red underwear and she remembered how everything in her fucked up little world just righted itself when he slid into bed beside her and wrapped his large hand around her tiny one.

She saw it all, and then she knew.

She rose in her all-knowing Zen bubble and stood beside him, looking down into his tortured but still beautiful blue eyes. The ocean, she thought as she stared into them. When they locked gazes he stopped struggling against the chains and let her take him away. She leaned down and kissed his forehead softly, smoothing back his hair.

"No, you won't, Eric. You have never hurt me, and you never will." Her certainty became his and he was in the Zen bubble with her. He kept his gaze locked with hers as she reached down and unbuttoned his jeans, freeing him. He came then, helplessly, the magic overwhelming his control, and pushing him beyond his ability to hold his need for release. She watched his body spasm and felt her own body respond with a new flood of wetness between her thighs. It could have been the magic, but she was sure it was the sound he made as his essence burst forth that took her breath away.

He sighed then a moment of relief on his face before he hardened again, moaning in need for another release. His eyes locked on hers and she saw his cock twitch toward her, entranced she reached out and wrapped her hand around his engorged shaft. He moaned again, whispering her name between clenched teeth as he jerked in her hand, erupting again, helplessly at her touch. She leaned down, a dreamy look on her face and licked the tip of him as he hardened once again, the magic refusing to give him peace. Her lips on the head of his shaft pushed him over again, this time she opened her mouth and took him inside her, moaning her pleasure at the taste of him. He even tastes like the ocean smells, clean and so good, was her last thought before she stopped thinking and focused on making sure she got it all.

Her pleasure at tasting him like this, combined with the magic that had set her on fire pushed her over the edge now too and with nothing other than him filling her mouth, her own orgasm took her body. She moaned around him, shaking as she caressed him with her tongue. Suddenly she could not stand to be separated from him any longer. He felt her move, and watched her slowly remove her pajamas to stand naked beside him. Even in the magical haze of lust her was trapped in her beauty left him thunderstruck, but it was the look on her face that ripped his soul out of the dark cave he had buried it in a thousand years ago. Perfect love, and perfect trust, nothing less could have lit the darkness inside him.

"Not like this, Sookie. Not because of the witch." His tone was filled with sadness and longing that brought tears to her eyes.

"Fuck her," Sookie whispered back, still swimming in the ocean of his eyes. The corner of his mouth came up in his trademark smartass smirk.

"No, I won't, and I think that is how we got here in the first place," he whispered back. She smiled now.

"Fuck her, Eric. She brought us here and created this moment yes, but she wasn't there when you saved me in Fangtasia, or in Dallas, or in Jackson. She wasn't on the side of that road tonight and she wasn't in my goddamned kitchen when I cleaned your feet. She wasn't in bed with us when I fell asleep holding your hand. She was only the catalyst, we are the reaction." She had been moving the whole time she was speaking, slowly climbing on the bed and straddling his prostrate form. She leaned down now to kiss him, so he could feel her, taste her and taste him in her. He couldn't have fought even if he wanted to, and he didn't want to. He needed this too damned much!

In recompense for Hallow's slight she pierced her tongue on his fang and fed him her blood, to heal, to love. He moaned and kissed her with all the passion that Hallow would never inspire in his long dead heart. As they kissed Sookie reached down and took him in her hand lining him up with her entrance. She pulled back from the kiss as she started to rock on him, whimpering softly as she inched his engorged flesh into her tight wet channel a little at a time. The heat and pressure made him come again, and he moaned as he spilled into her. The additional wetness helped her work him a little further, and she moaned again in pleasure as he stretched her. She opened her eyes again, and pinned him to the cot more than any silver chains ever could. "Th-This is just a-ah-about us, Eric. I know you don't remember all the things that have passed between us, but you can feel the truth what I have said in the blood. Feel it, Eric. Feel…me." She gasped then as she worked him in a little deeper.

As she rocked on him, working him ever deeper, he dove into the blood tie that had just gotten stronger from her bloody kissing sacrifice, and reached for the heart of her. He could feel that what she said was true, whatever had passed between them is why she was easing his pain and caring for him now, not because of the magic that had started this union. Oh, she was glorious! The deeper he went into her with the tie, the deeper she took him into her physical body and feeling of both was so overwhelming to Eric that he was glad he couldn't move, couldn't run, couldn't try and take control, he could only surrender like this. That was all he wanted to do anyway. Surrender. She was coming now, still working him in and he orgasmed again as she peaked, her strangled sounds of pleasure driving him insane.

Finally, she worked her body completely around him. The sensation was too much and he roared, filling her with his seed again. She stopped a moment her eyes round in surprise and pleasure to feel him fill her completely, emptying into her, and stretching her in the most pleasurable way she could never have imagined. "N-no matter w-what comes next, we have this moment, Eric. We have now." She emphasized that last word by squeezing him with her internal muscles as she pulled up and then came back down slowly. She came then, lost in the magic of his body inside hers. When she spoke again she was breathless, like she had run a mile, "Everything that befalls us happens in single moments, and this one is ours!" She rode him then, hard and deep, soft and low, leaning down to kiss him, her tongue tangling with his. She was so lost in the moment that she didn't hear the chains fall to the floor and when she felt him sit up and wrap his arms around her she gasped.

Again, she saw the image in Hallow's mind again, them in a passionate embrace, him draining her, but rather than let the fear take her, she turned back into the passion that was between them, that had always been smoldering between them, meeting him kiss for kiss as his hands moved to her hips. He was thrusting up into her now, hitting the most delicious spots, making her muscles turn to rubber as she felt weak in his embrace, sure that only his hardness inside held her up.

She felt him move to her neck and she turned her head, offering him what he needed to heal, to be whole again from the silver. In the tie he felt her, and there was only perfect love and perfect trust. He shivered, and licked her neck, pushing deeper between her thighs as his fangs pierced her skin and the first swallow of her washed over his tongue. She moaned in his ear and he felt her come hard around him. He wanted this moment to last forever because while he had nothing to compare it to, he knew that he had never had a moment like this before, but the blood, the love, the trust, the safety and warmth of her body and her heart pulled him over the edge right behind her. He thrust as deep as he could and then let go, in the circle of her arms, in the heat of her body.

When he let go, both spells broke, it all came rushing back. A millennia of memories of survival. A clear picture of who Eric Northman was, is and would be for as long as he walked this earth. A clear picture of the woman in his arms, her face challenging him, covered in cuts and dirt and blood. The feel of her as he pressed himself into her on the hood of his Corvette . The sounds she made when she came apart in his arms in Jackson, the way she had opened her home to him when he was lost, the way she had offered her life to him tonight. He knew who he was and who she was, and he knew beyond a doubt that they would never be who they could be, should be, if they were not together.

I love her, he thought, and right behind that, how the fuck did that happen? She felt him pull back from her emotionally, though how she could tell he did not know. She looked at him with questioning eyes, fear showing for the first time. She could face curses and witches and blood thirsty zealots and vampires but she was only afraid when he pulled back. This woman makes no sense he thought, and I thank the gods for that! He smiled at her then. They were still joined and he didn't ever want to leave, but she was not safe here in the witches lair. Gently, he lifted her up, and slid out of her, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, he reached for her clothes, handing them to her. He smelled the salt of her tears and felt the fear she was feeling in the tie they shared, but there was no time now. Dawn was coming soon, glancing around he saw that the doors were now visible. Tucking himself back into his jeans he stood and picked her up. Moving at vamp speed he burst through the nearest door and took to the sky headed for Fangtasia.

He took her inside and down into the basement where he placed her gently on the bed he kept in his room there for emergencies like this one. He looked at her intently for a moment but still did not speak, nor did she. He could feel her anxiety growing as the silence went on but truly he did not know what to say. In all his days and nights he had never found himself in a situation like this. He still had to deal with the witch and dawn was nearly upon him. Tomorrow, he told himself. I will know how to handle this tomorrow. He changed clothes and came back to lay on the bed beside her. He wanted to pull her to him, but feared that he would trap her when he died so he stayed on his side and waited for death to take him.

When he awoke the next night she was gone.

_Present..._

"So, I left him there, Gran. I think he remembered everything. I think the spell broke when we…when we did what we did. She wanted him to hurt me, Gran, but I know he wouldn't. I knew that because he had saved me so many times." She was crying again now, "But she was right, too though. He did hurt me. He hurt me when he got it all back and shut me out. I guess I wasn't his heart's desire after all." She stopped there, wiping her tears again. "I know you would think I did wrong, Gran, and I am sorry for that. I am sorry he acted like he did when he got his memories back, but you know what? I am not even a little bit sorry for doing it. To feel that way, even for a moment was worth even you thinking poorly of me, Gran. To feel like that…it's something I will cherish…forever. I just have to remember now. I have to remember to keep myself awake, and not live in the dream of what might have been."

She stood then, brushing the grass from her knees, and drying her face one last time. She had confessed now, and she would live with what she had done, and she would remember what perfect love and perfect trust felt like for the rest of her life. It was worth the price. We live life in moments, she thought turning away to head back home. She had barely taken two steps when she heard him call her name from the shadows.

"Sookie, wait."


	2. Less Than A Second

**Keep Myself Awake- Less Than A Second**

She screamed, startled when Eric spoke from the shadows. She had been so intent on her own thoughts and feelings that she had forgotten it was dark and she should have been on the telepathic lookout for voids around her. After chastising herself for her own foolishness, she did a quick sweep around her and found no one else was there but him.

And why was he there?

Gathering herself she turned toward him and saw him step out of the shadows but he stopped not coming closer. She opened her mouth to speak and then shut it. She had no idea how long he had been there or what he had heard, and so far, she had done all the talking. He came to see her, obviously there was something on his mind. After a long moment of silence she turned and started for home. He was beside her instantly.

"Are you running away again?" he asked her, sounding angry. Flashes of the ride back from Jackson.

What does he have to be angry about?

She didn't answer him, instead keeping the same steady pace waiting for something she could sink her teeth into in this moment. He walked beside her, seemingly lost in his thoughts. When he finally spoke, again he sounded angry.

"I should be out finding Hallow."

Was he talking to her or to himself?

Not sure, she just kept walking. Again he kept pace. "Instead I am here with you. I don't know why," he added when she did not respond. She stopped then and looked at him as he stopped walking as well. He seemed as lost tonight as he had the night before.

"Did you get your memories back?" His eyes flew to hers, and though she had trouble reading him in the dim moonlight, she was sure he could see her fine.

"Yes." She waited for more, but he shoved his hands in his pockets and looked down at the ground.

Why was he so uncomfortable? She wanted to ask him why he was there, but she didn't really want the answer.

She started walking again, faster this time wondering what she was going to do when she got home.

Was he going to follow her all the way?

Was she going to leave him on the porch and go to bed?

Was she going to invite him?

Was she going to grab him and initiate a repeat of last night?

Her mind was a jumble of questions and once again she was not paying attention to what was going on around her.

"How fucking sweet," Hallow called from the shadows, stepping out. Eric immediately stepped in front of Sookie to protect her from the witch. He wanted to kill her, but feared that she might have another memory spell on her person that would be triggered when he eviscerated her rotten form. "I leave you two alone for a minute and you just can't stay away from each other."

She's not making it sound very sweet, Sookie thought as she watched Hallow take a step closer to them. Was it supposed to be sweet that tall, handsome powerful Eric Northman stalked her to the cemetery and was now following her home, not saying any of the words she wanted to hear?

Sookie, I am so sorry.

Sookie, I made a mistake.

Sookie, you are my heart's desire.

Sookie I hold you above all others.

Sookie I think you're a fang banging slut and I never want to see you again.

Ok, that last one would really suck, but still, even knowing that would be knowing something. Why did Hallow think that he felt something for her? She could certainly see no signs of it.

Am I missing something?

And what if, if in the clear evening of a non-spelled night he realized he did want her, that she was indeed his heart's desire.

Was he hers?

Did she want him when she wasn't trying to help him or in the grips of a magic lust spell?

Was now really the time for relationship analysis?

Eric and I have a "relationship"? When did that happen?

She looked back to Hallow then and waited for something to happen. She wasn't scared, Eric was there, there was nothing to worry about so what did this witch really want? Feeling her sense of calm, Eric turned quickly to look at her. He certainly didn't feel calm, and she was usually a tumbling ball of passion in one form or another so what the hell was going on with her?

He could only spare time for a quick glance but he saw her peeking around his shoulder at Hallow and thought that any minute now she was going to pop off that machine gun of a mouth and then things were going to spin out of control quickly.

Who am I kidding this has been out of control since the moment I got my memories back.

Catching the by play between them Hallow rolled her eyes and took another step closer. "I've had enough of this!" She had watched them. She had seen how they were with each other and how they had broken both of her spells effortlessly. Well, the human had broken both her spells effortlessly. She had underestimated her and the strength of her affection for the Viking. Each time that the human jumped into the fray, he had caught her, but had been unwilling to jump in himself.

If she really wanted to hurt him, stun him, then she needed to take the human out, not the vampire. She believed that while he would be desperate to get her back, he would not be willing or able to surrender and trust as the human had done last night. It would slowly eat him up and then when he was at his most vulnerable she could sweep in have his money and make him hers.

As she moved to cast the spell that would forever place his precious human beyond his reach, neither alive nor dead, he moved then too. He moved as fast as he could and less than a second later her head was on the ground, her body swayed before him for several seconds and then collapsed on the ground in front of him.

His supernatural hearing had picked up the sound of two bodies hitting the ground and he quickly turned, face awash in the gore that had been Hallow, fangs fully extended and saw Sookie on the ground as well. Less than a second, had been less than a second too late.

"NO!" his roar rang through the night echoing through the trees around them.


	3. Mistakes

**Keep Myself Awake- Mistakes**

He picked up her limp body calling her name over and over but she did not answer. She was still breathing, her heart still beating strongly, but she did not respond to him. He tore his wrist open and forced his blood into her mouth, she swallowed reflexively and for a moment he thought it was working and she was waking up, but she wasn't. He could no longer feel her in the tie they shared. When he saw that the blood brought no change he took out his phone and called Ludwig.

"Meet me at Fangtasia in fifteen minutes."

"Vampire, I'm-"

"GOING TO MEET ME THERE OR YOU WILL ANSWER WITH YOUR FUCKING HEAD!" he crushed the phone in his hand trying to end the call.

You have to stop this, he told himself. You have to control your emotion of you will crush her as you did the phone.

Dropping the shattered plastic on the ground be picked Sookie up bridal style and took off for Fangtasia, his thoughts a riot as they had been since he had come back to himself buried to the hilt inside her, with her screaming her release in his arms last night. Nothing had made sense from that moment.

Well, some things made perfect sense for the first time.

When he had met her, wanted her, he thought it was about jerking Compton's chain.

When he staked Long Shadow to save her he thought it was about the obligation to keep her safe since she was there working for him.

When he had followed her to Dallas and patched her wounds he had thought it was because she was representing him, and again he owed her support and loyalty. When he had taken a bullet for her, and she had sucked it out he had told himself that what he felt was the kind of camaraderie that two battle worn warriors felt.

His first clue that he had been lying to himself had been in her house when she had made him swear to kill Lorena, and he had assumed a simple woman's jilted heart. He should have known better, he would have known better if he had been telling himself the truth all along, but because he had lied, he never saw it coming.

The final blow, the moment his whole world slid off the rails was when she looked him in the eye and said as fierce as any warrior he had ever known, "I want her dead because she betrayed him!"

His response to her passionate declaration had echoed to the warrior, the man and the vampire before her, and for the first time in a thousand years they were in complete consensus.

I want that for myself. All of it. The loyalty, the passion, the warmth. I want that. I want to feel that. I want to feel her.

Since that moment he had tried to figure out how to get from here to there and was at a loss. Women pursued him, and he took the ones he chose from the herds that were always more than willing. It had been that way before the Great Revelation, it had only become more so after. They came in masses and waited at his feet. That was easy, so easy that it was meaningless.

This woman though, she did not offer herself, not even when he allowed himself to be reduced to pleading for her to yield to him. The night of the orgy on the hood of his Corvette he was putty in her hands, but her mind was focused on processing the vacuous scene playing out in the cabin behind them. Her heart was still tied to Compton, and while her body responded to his expert touch, and her words were rambling and off topic, he had felt her legs tighten around him, pulling him deeper between her legs. He had been able to smell her arousal from his touch and it pushed his limits to not just take her, but even back then part of him had known that taking her would not get him what he wanted.

He had been relieved when Compton had interrupted them. It gave him an excuse to back off and ignore the feeling that was digging at the edge of his defenses and not lose face.

Last night he had come back to himself and found that he was right where he wanted to be for a very long time, feeling her. Feeling her feeling him in their tiny blood tie and knew that he had somehow in getting lost found his way to her, and bridged the distance from here to there.

I won't lose that now!

He touched down in the parking lot and went right to his office, Ludwig was waiting. She opened her mouth to speak and then taking one look at the woman in his arms and the grim look on his ancient face, she closed her mouth again, and moved back so he could put her on the sofa. Beginning to take her vitals she asked him to tell her what happened.

"She has been spelled."

"I need more than that if you want me to help her."

"That is all there is, I have killed the witch." She sighed and took in his blood spattered form.

"I can only heal the body, vampire. If this is magic you need a witch, not a doctor." She went on examining Sookie and heard him move to his desk and make a call. Coming back to her side, he demanded an update. "Her vitals are strong, and she appears to be sleeping. I assume you tried to wake her?" He nodded. "And that you tried to give her your blood?"

"Of course," he ground out, trying hard not to hit her.

"And?" she yelled at him, growing frustrated that she couldn't help and taking it out on the one person she could.

"She drank it, but it had no effect."

"She drank it on her own?" the doctor stopped and looked at him.

"Yes, is that significant?"

"I can't say for sure, but it definitely lends credence to magic over medical. If she were comatose it is not likely she would have responded at all. Have you tried to talk to her?" He shook his head sharply. The doctor started packing up her things. "There is nothing more for me to do here right now. I will leave you to wait for the witch. Use that time to try and talk to her. See if you can get her to respond. If she can tell you anything about what happened it will only help the witch in trying to fix whatever had happened."

She turned to go, and then taking in the scene before her, the damaged girl and the frightened angry vampire, she curtailed her usual attitude and simply said, "Call me if there is anything medically that she needs." When he did not respond she left.

When the door closed he fell to his knees beside the sofa and looked at her. His emotions were running rampant and he found himself feeling things that he had not experienced in a very long time.

Fear. It tasted like tainted blood in his mouth and he did not like it. He reached for her hand, remembering how she had done that when she kneeled beside him last night. "I have failed you," he said barely above a whisper. "I should have gone after the witch as soon as I rose, but I could not stay away from your side." He stopped, struggling with how to reveal the truth of himself. "When I woke up and you were gone, it was like a silver spike had been placed in my chest…in my…heart! Why didn't you just stay, Sookie? Why?" He felt a slight squeeze from her hand then and she mumbled a response.

"You…didn't…want…me." It was so soft that he might have missed it entirely if he had not had every supernatural sense he possessed solely focused on her tiny form. Holding her hand tighter and leaning closer he tried to reach her again.

"You are wrong, little one. I did want you!" His other hand was brushing her hair back from her forehead now as he waited to see if she would respond again.

"Ssssspell," she whispered. Did she mean last night or tonight?

"What about the spell, Sookie. Talk to me! What do you mean."

"Only…happened…because…of…the…spell." She meant last night. He had choice to make.

He could use this precious time to correct her misunderstanding regarding his desire for her, or he could try and gain information about the spell she was currently under. Quickly, he weighed his options and decided that getting her back was more important, he could explain later and make her see that what had happened had been meant to happen. That she had been right when she told him that the witch's spell might have been the catalyst, but that they were the reaction to everything that had always been between them.

It had nothing to do with the magic that simply gave them the chance to do what they wanted to do all along. He would make her see. First, he had to get her back.

"Sookie, tell me about what happened tonight. Tell me what happened tonight." She moved then, turning her head a little away from him, and he could almost feel her slipping further away. "Sookie!" he called to her, shaking her gently to try and keep her with him.

"Doesn't…matter."

"IT DOES FUCKING MATTER! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET YOU BACK IF YOU WON'T TELL ME HOW TO HELP?" he was screaming at her now, but she was no longer answering him. His head fell to hear chest as he hoped and strained to hear her again, but there was nothing else to hear.

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

By the time the witch Olivia arrived he had composed his exterior, though he was still a seething unstable volcano inside. "Tell me what happened." He filled her on what little there was as she examined Sookie and then turned to him. "This could any number of things, before we can determine the best course we need to try and find her grimoire. Spells are often very specific and to try and reverse it without knowing exactly what was done can be dangerous."

"Dangerous?"

"It could kill her." He growled then.

"If anything happens to her I will hold you personally responsible." She paled at his threat. She had worked for Northman before and she knew that while he was fair in his business dealings, he was also ruthless when it came to getting what he wanted. He would kill her, of that she had no doubt.

"I-is that the witches blood on your shirt?"

"What of it?"

"I might…there might be a way to use that to find her altar." She was hesitant because it was a long shot. Blood calls to blood and there was the tiniest possibility that she had spilled her own blood in her sacred space while performing magics. Perhaps, they could find it with a locator spell. She explained to him and before she was done he had removed his shirt and handed it to her.

She took a breath, seeing him bare chested was like a spell unto itself. He truly was a beautiful man. Sensing her attraction in her pulse increasing, the blood rushing to the surface of her skin, and her quickened breathing he decided that it could be to his advantage to try and play to that. He desperately needed her help, and if she thought he would be willing to reciprocate in a more personal fashion, she might work that much harder to help him get back his hearts' desire.

She was not unattractive, lean body, wide hips, beautiful green eyes, it would be no hardship to fuck her once, if that is what she required to do as he asked. "You know that if you fail, or bring additional harm to this woman, my wrath will be sure and swift. However," he softened his tone and took a step toward her, toying with a tress of her long auburn hair, "if you are able to remove this spell, the rewards could be many and quite…pleasurable." She licked her lips, struggling to find her voice in the face of this gorgeous dead man before her.

"I will do everything I can," she assured him, looking into his eyes.

"See that you do," he said in lowest, sexiest voice, leading her on to motivate her. She shook herself and began to move to the door, determined to find a way to break this spell, so that she could make good on his offer. She had wanted him for a very long time. This was likely to be the best chance she would get.

When the door closed, Sookie let out a soft moan on the sofa. He was immediately at her side, her hand in his.

"Sookie?"

She did not respond and he wondered if she had heard him offer his body to the witch and misunderstood his motivation. He would do anything to save her. She had to understand that.

Despite his desperation and devotion to the woman lying before him, he couldn't help but feel that he might have made a mistake. Mistakes were all he seemed to make when it came to Sookie. I should be used to that by now, he thought bitterly as he remained kneeling before her, as so many had knelt before him in nights and ages past, understanding for the first time what they must have felt when he turned from them, or even worse, failed to notice them at all.


	4. Slow Your Roll

**Keep Myself Awake- Slow Your Roll**

Pam found him there, still kneeling beside her when she burst in a short while later.

"What's happened now?" She asked, already at her limit from the night before. When Eric had disappeared from the office she had been in a full blown panic until Sookie had called her. Then later last night she had felt something happen to Eric but had not been able to find or reach him, and when she rose this evening she was half way to Bon Temps when she felt him moving back toward Shreveport. She had sent Chow on to Bon Temps and she had turned back, following Eric in their bond as he emotions played ping pong inside her.

"Are you back now? Sookie said you didn't remember what had happened." He was still kneeling when he spoke without looking at her.

"My memory has been restored, and the witch is dead."

"And Sookie?" her tone showing her concern.

"The witch cast a spell on her before I killed her."

"We have to call Olivia and see what she-"

"She has been here already. She is working on it."

"What happened after you disappeared?" she asked him softly. Before he could answer her phone rang. Seeing it was Chow she answered. "Yes?" She listened a moment and then said, "Dispose of the body in the cemetery that is nearby and remove any evidence that remains, then return to Fangtasia." She looked back at him now, "Eric?" she prompted.

Still not looking at her he asked the one question she never thought to hear from him. "What does it feel like to be in love, Pam?"

"As I recall it's like hot razor wire going over your skin, and you want it to stop and you know if it does you will die from missing it." He growled softly. When he did not speak she went on, "Abby says that you should tell those that you love how you feel and not wait. I'm not sure if that is because the pain will be reduced or because in telling them how you feel you will be inflicting the same onto them. It's all very confusing." He growled again, this time in agreement and she felt that she had given him whatever it was he was looking for.

"Master, what about the rest of the coven? Are we to hunt them?"

"Let's wait until we hear from Olivia. She may be able to tell us where they are hiding." He stood then and picked up the telepath that she thought of as a friend, mostly.

"Is there anything I can do for her, or you?" she asked as he headed for the door. He left without answering and she knew then that things were very seriously wrong.

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

He took her to his home, landing in the back yard of his the gated community residence. He had several but this was the one he had planned to stay in last night before the witch had taken his mind. Before Sookie had finished the job by taking his soul. He carried her upstairs and laid her on his bed climbing in beside her.

"Sookie?" he tried again to reach her, whispering to her softly and taking her hand. "Sookie, please come back to me." She did not answer, but he had not been expecting her to. He had made a mistake propositioning the witch where she could hear. He believed that action had finished convincing her that what had happened between them had only been the result of the spell. If she would just come back to him, he could tell her that he had only trying to ensure that the witch would work as hard as she could. Once he could explain it he was sure she would understand. She had to!

He rolled away from her and placed an arm under his head, trying to figure out what his next move would be. He needed to hunt Hallow's coven and see if they could help him break the spell before he killed them slowly and in the most painful ways he could imagine for fucking up his life. He had been barely holding on by a thread anyway due to the woman beside him, but the witches had gleefully cut that thread and showed him that was in love with her.

After hearing Pam's description he could no longer doubt that is what he felt. Every second since he had gotten his memories back had been like the razor wire she described. Leaving Sookie in his bed he went downstairs and got a blood from the fridge, heating it in the microwave before going out on his back deck to stare at the stars.

I didn't ask for this! He thought angrily as he looked up, not sure if he was talking to Odin or himself, and then realizing he was talking to anyone who could fix it. Please fix it! He sent to the heavens and anyone who was listening, to anyone at all who might be out there.

He didn't know, but someone was out there. They had followed him from Bon Temps to Fangtasia and then to his home, concealing themselves and their scent from him.

Sookie's fairy godmother stood in the yard and watched the Viking stare at the stars while he drank his blood slowly, and she wondered what he was thinking. He had seemed very upset when Sookie collapsed and seemed even more so now.

Perhaps he cared for Sookie? No, it couldn't be, Claudine shook her head and smiled at her own foolishness. Vampires only cared for eating fairies. No doubt he was saving her for a snack. Claudine had to get her away from the vampire!

Now that she knew where he lived, she only had to wait for daylight to steal her away.

Hang on, Sookie. I'm going to save you, she thought as she watched the Viking move back into the house and lock the door behind him.

Daylight was only an hour away. She would remain hidden and wait.

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

Depressed and unsure what to do Eric surrendered to death before dawn even came. In his advanced age he could stay up for a while past sunrise and rise before sunset, but all the strength had been drained out of him this night. He wanted the peace that only death would bring. This time, as he climbed into bed beside Sookie, he didn't hesitate to pull her to him. There was no need to worry of trapping her, she was not going to move today any more than she had tonight.

He molded his body to hers, spooning her from behind, letting her head fit under his chin so that the smell of sunshine that she always had in her hair filled his nostrils. The razor wire ache eased when she was tucked against, and he let out a sigh of contentment as he snuggled next to her there.

He had already died and missed that she did the same.

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

Eric dreamed.

He was back at Sookie's house and she was washing his feet. He felt again the gratefulness that he had felt that night as she cared for, him but now that he knew who they both were and how he felt about the woman kneeling before him it added a deeper resonance to his emotions. The razor wire feeling that he was becoming accustomed to was back full force, and he wanted to reach out to her and pull her to his arms and his lips, but he stopped himself and let the scene play out like it before.

She looked so tired, and he realized now what he did not know then. She had worked until she picked him up beside the road and he felt even more touched by her gestures of care that she pushed aside her exhaustion to give a lonely frightened vampire. He growled softly in his chest, causing her to look up at him.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

This hadn't happened before.

"Everything is wrong," he told her. She sighed.

"Tell me about it."

"I have killed the witch. You are asleep and won't wake up. Pam said that-"

"Stop! I didn't mean that literally. I meant it sarcastically. You aren't the only one with issues, big boy."

"Big…boy?" he asked her, not sure he understood her meaning.

"Never mind," she said sighing again, rising now to empty the pan of water into the kitchen sink.

Trying another strategy, he asked her, "What are your issues, Sookie?" She laughed humorlessly, rinsing the pan before drying it and placing it back under the sink where she had found it.

"I assume you mean besides the very large, nearly naked, confused vampire I have sitting in my kitchen at two in the morning?"

"Is that more sarcasm?"

"Nope."

"Would you like me to remove the rest of my clothes? Would that be helpful?" he asked sincerely, trying to find some way to please her and show how much he appreciated her. None of this had happened before, so while he was certain that he must be dreaming he didn't want the dream to end. He felt close to her here and there was no place else he would rather be than close to her.

"Whoa! Slow your roll there, Eric."

"Slow my…does that mean no, Sookie?"

"Yes!" she said emphatically. He was even more confused now than he was before. Apparently she saw that in his face because she added, "Yes, keep your clothes on, please. Ok?"

"Ok," he said, still seated with the blanket around his shoulders. He didn't understand though.

"Why do you want me to keep my clothes on, Sookie?"

"Because that seems to be your damned answer for everything. I heard you with that damned witch, Eric Northman! I know you promised to sleep with her! You could have at least had the decency to do your business in another room!"

His eyes grew wide. She HAD heard him and she WAS angry. Then it hit him a second later that she WAS here, really here, and this was possibly NOT a dream. He was about to go to her and explain when suddenly there as a knock at her front door.

"Oh, what the hell is it now?" she ranted, as she walked out of the kitchen toward the summoning knock. Recovering slowly from her anger and his realization that he could truly talk to her now, he left the kitchen to follow her to the door. He saw her jerk it open and then there was a blinding flash of light, he had to raise his hand to shield his eyes it was so bright and when he took it down she was gone.

He sped to the door, calling her name, out onto the porch and into the dark, but she was not there. He had lost her again.

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

When the day released him he eagerly opened his eyes and tried to pull her close to him, he would try and to talk to her again! But his arms pulled back nothing but air.

She was not there. He had lost her again.


	5. Failing Spectacularly

**Keep Myself Awake- Failing Spectacularly**

"Why can't she ever fucking stay where I fucking leave her?" he screamed, rising from the bed and starting to tear the room apart in his frustration. As he moved and disturbed the air he caught a whiff of the impossible.

_Fairy!_

A fairy had come into his home and taken Sookie from his arms as he slept. He roared again and continued to destroy the room, reveling in the wounds he made in his flesh as he tore apart the bed, the dresser, the walls, screaming in rage again as they healed almost instantaneously.

If I am healing it shouldn't hurt this badly, he thought, and then realized it wasn't his hands that were causing him pain. His mind started racing, trying to figure out what he could do now. He scanned the room for his mobile phone and then remembered he had pulverized it last night. Moving to his closet he changed clothes quickly and headed to Fangtasia.

"Master," Pam greeted him as he walked in. "What's happened?"

"I need a new mobile phone."

"I will take care of it and have it for you by the end of the night." She waited then to see if he was going to explain the rage she had felt from him when he awakened. Since Sookie was not with him, it was likely his rage was related to her, as usual.

Still not speaking, he took out his rolodex and dialed Niall's number. If there was a fairy problem he would go right to the top. Niall needed to know that what had happened to today broke every treaty in existence between their two nations and it would not remain unpunished.

"This is Northman," he growled into the phone when someone picked up on the other end. "Let me speak with the Prince."

"Oh, I'm sorry, the Prince is not available right now," the voice told him pleasantly. "May I take a message?"

"Yes. Tell the Prince that if I don't hear back from him in the next ten minutes that it will be considered an open declaration of war against the vampire nation and his is the first fucking head I will be coming after!" He ended the call and stopped himself from destroying the phone. Niall needed to be able to call him back after all. He could feel Pam's curiosity in the bond and he tried to calm himself enough to give her some explanation. None of this was her fault. It was the sneaking meddling fairies that had taken Sookie while he was dead.

"Sookie was taken from my home today by a fairy." Pam's eyes widened.

"A fairy? Why would a fairy-"

"That's what I am trying to figure out!" he was yelling now, unable to maintain an even tone when she insisted on going on and on about it.

"Did you tell her-"

"No!" he barked at her again, refusing to explain what had happened in the dream to anyone before he had another chance to fix what had happened. He was so fucked. Why would they want her? She was only a waitress in a shifter's bar. What use could the Fae have for her?

They think she is important to me! They took her to get to me, he decided, becoming even angrier than he was before thinking that she had gotten pulled into more "vampire shit" as she called it, because of him.

I will get you back, Sookie. I will make this right, he swore to her as he waited for Niall to call. His phone rang exactly 9:59 seconds after he had left his message.

Fucking fairies.

"Northman."

"Please hold for the Prince." They put him on hold? Oh, someone was definitely going to die for this.

"This is Niall Brigant. What can I do for you, Northman?"

"You can return what was taken from my home today as I lay dead."

"I don't know what-"

"Cut the shit! You know that a fairy would not have broken the treaty without your permission. BRING BACK WHAT IS MINE!" Niall was quiet for a moment.

"Have you bonded with her?" So, that fucker DID have her!

"Not yet." What? Not yet? Was he thinking of bonding with her?

"But you were planning to?"

"Yes." his tone cold and threatening. "She is mine!"

"Does she agree that she is yours?" Eric hesitated. If he told the truth then Niall would hang up and there would be nothing he could do. He had to stake a claim here that Niall could not deny. Oh, Sookie please forgive me.

"Yes," he told Niall.

"Are you responsible for the spell my granddaughter is currently under?"

"Your-"

"Yes," Niall said cutting him off, his tone now matching Eric's for coldness. "She was brought to me by one of our kin who watches over her. Her watcher thought you planned to kill her for her Fae blood and believed her to be in imminent danger." Eric's mind was racing. He had just lied to the Prince of the Fae nation about his granddaughter and the relationship she had to him.

_I am so far beyond fucked._

Keeping his emotions out of his voice he continued, "Be that as it may, she is mine and I want her returned to me immediately."

"You can free her from the spell and keep her safe?" Maybe and probably not, he thought.

"Yes," he said confidently.

"Fine. I will bring my granddaughter to you shortly. However, I will be remaining with her until she is freed from the spell and then we will see to the truth of your words."

Eric hung up the phone and hung his head.

"So, our little Sookie is an honest to goodness, fairy princess," Pam said, with a fangy smile. "And you are going to bond with her. Well, fuck me."

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

Niall stared the phone after the call had ended and thought about his options. He had already seen Sookie, and was confident that he could awaken her from the spell she was under, but the call from the Northman had took him by surprise. Claudine had told him of Sookie's involvement with vampires and he had been very concerned that they would use her for her blood and lose control killing her, but he was unsure how to approach her, to get her to understand the danger she was in. He and Claudine were strangers to her.

When Claudine had returned with her from the vampire's home he had thought this was the opportunity that he had been waiting for introduce himself to her, but something about the Northman gave him pause. He was ready to go to war to get Sookie back. As much as Niall wanted her to know him and choose to stay with him, his protection also came with certain additional dangers. If knowledge of her were to spread in the Fae realm his enemies would seek to use her against him.

If the Northman truly cared for her, then he could leave her with him, safe, protected and far away from the Fae politics that would leave her vulnerable as his granddaughter. Factions that wouldn't look at her twice if she were the bonded of a vampire.

It could be a good alternative, if the Northman truly cared for her, and if she cared for him, as the vampire claimed.

He would know what to do when she woke up.

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

"What did Sookie say when you asked her?" Pam asked, so excited she was bouncing up and down slightly in her seat. He groaned.

"You'll know when I do."

"But you told Niall-"

"I told him what I had to tell him to get him to bring her back," he spat at her through clenched teeth.

"Oh, Master. She won't take this well when she finds out what you have done." Her excitement was fading now as she imagined Sookie screaming and throwing things while words like "high handed" and "inconsiderate" shot out of her mouth.

"She will tell him what I tell her to say!" he insisted rising from behind the desk to pace. Pam shook her head, knowing better, and then knowing better than to correct him when he was this upset. He felt her disappointment and decided to ignore it. Pam didn't know everything. Her precious Abby didn't know everything. He knew how to handle this! Moving back to his desk with purpose he called Olivia.

"Update."

"I have been able to determine where the altar was, as I had hoped. I was about to call you with the address."

"I'll send Pam and Chow to you. You will all go there together and get the grimoire so that we can reverse the spell." He hung up and nodded for Pam to go. She hesitated a moment, wanting to say something. Sighing, he looked at her and waited.

"If you tell her the truth, Master, I believe she would choose to stay with you." He shook his head and waved her away. How could he tell Sookie the truth when he didn't know what the truth was?

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

Ten minutes after Pam left Niall teleported into his office with Sookie in his arms. Eric was at his side immediately reaching for her. Once he had her he sat down on the sofa and held her in his arms as he sniffed her, and checked her for injury. Niall watched closely, concealing is surprise at the Viking's reaction. A few moments later he heard the vampire speak to her softly.

"Sookie, can you hear me?" She stirred slightly in his arms, mumbling something that sounded like "big boy." When he saw the slow smile spread over the Northman's face he felt his shock go up another notch. Whatever it was she had said to him had obviously struck a chord.

Niall had been able to determine that she had been placed under an Aurora spell. It's intent was to hold her in a form of stasis, neither alive nor dead until she was freed by admission of true love from the one who held her heart.

It was a complicated spell, and it had been centuries since he had seen it cast, but the witch who had attacked Sookie had been very adept with magics. If the vampire did care for Sookie and she for him, this spell should have been ended before Claudine snatched her from his dead arms.

_I am missing something here._

The fact that Sookie could defeat the spell enough to communicate with the Viking told him that the vampire did indeed hold her heart, and from the way he held her and whispered to her, she also had his. So why hadn't this spell already been broken?

Just then the vampire shot him a cold look. "Leave us," he told the Prince. His tone immediately hit on Niall's hot button, not many dared tell him what to do. However this could be an opportunity. He inclined his head.

"I will give you a few minutes alone, and then I will return."

"Wait until I call for you. I have no patience left for interruptions." Niall disappeared from the room, concealing himself in the corner so that he watch what would happen next. Eric looked around the room carefully using his senses to make sure the fairy had gone. Once he was satisfied he turned back to the woman in his arms.

Softly, he placed kisses on her face, whispering her name over and over again, until she stirred in his arms, turning her head toward his cool lips and into his caresses. "Sookie, can you hear me?"

"mmmhmmm," she mumbled to him. He pulled her closer and buried his face in her neck. Niall almost came out of hiding, thinking he was about to bite her, but before he could move he realized that the vampire was just smelling her again. Reassuring himself that she was there.

"I'm sorry about the witch," he whispered to her.

"Which…witch?" she asked slowly.

"Yes, the witch," he told her not realizing she was asking which one he was sorry for, the first that had cursed her or the second he had promised to bed.

"Please wake up," he whispered into her hair. "I have so much to tell you, to ask you and I can't do it if you are like this."

"Tell me," she repeated.

"Yes, tell you," he whispered again, thinking that she was just repeating what he was saying, rather than that she was demanding that he just tell her already!

"Can you wake up for me, Sookie?" She moaned again in his arms, and if he didn't know better he would think she was angry with him again for some reason.

Niall who was still watching from the corner was shocked beyond words. He had never seen two beings trying to communicate so very hard and fail so spectacularly at every turn. It was obvious in the way the responded to each other despite the magics that held them apart that they cared very deeply for each other. Why couldn't they see it or say it? He heard the vampire whisper to hear again.

"The witch will here soon, Sookie and then we will break this curse and speak of all the things that are between us." His words were filled with passion and promise, but she turned her face from his, trying to get as far away as her sleeping body would let her. Why had what he said upset her?

"Damn witch," she muttered. The Northman reacted by hunching his shoulders and turning her face back to him.

"I am so sorry, Sookie. I didn't think that you would hear me." Niall was burning with curiosity now. Sookie had heard him tell the witch something and the vampire felt the need to apologize? Was he apologizing for what he said, or for the fact that she had overheard him? What could have been said that would harden her heart to him?

Niall sighed from the corner. He had heard enough. It was time to collect his granddaughter and go before the witch returned and caused further damage to either the connection between the vampire and his granddaughter or to his granddaughter by forcing the spell to be removed. He did the courtesy for popping outside the door and knocking before coming back in, making it seem as though they had been alone the whole time.

"I'm afraid we must go now, Northman. It is no longer beneficial for my granddaughter to remain here." Eric growled, holding her closer to his chest, but rising to his feet to face Niall eye to eye. "Your histrionics will make no difference. She is my blood and you will not keep her from me."

"She is MY blood!" Eric growled back.

"Not yet she isn't," Niall said as he teleported himself and Sookie from the vampire's office, hearing the vampire scream in frustration and anger as they disappeared.


	6. The Doofus And The Idiot

**Keep Myself Awake- The Doofus And The Idiot**

There is a place in anger where to rip and tear is an outlet and a relief. There is place beyond that where the rage grows so cold that no action is sufficient to achieve relief. Niall taking Sookie from his arms placed him there. He was frozen in rage and something else. Something that he found inexcusable and unforgivable in everyone around him and doubly so in himself.

_Fear._

Retreating into his logical pragmatic mind that had helped him survive for centuries, he tried to understand what had happened that led him to this place where fools and cowards went to die.

_Sookie._

Her name was a pox and poison to his soul.

Her name was balm to every scar and wound he had ever endured in his long undead life.

_I must kill her._

_I must protect her._

_I must do _something_ because I cannot continue to exist in this quasi hell that I have found myself in since she ended the witches curse with her perfect love and perfect trust._

He remembered the look on her face as she came to him, so peaceful and sure that he would not harm her that she convinced him with her touch and a few words that no magic could make him do anything that would harm her.

Then he remembered how calm she had felt when Hallow confronted them leaving the cemetery. Again, perfect love and perfect trust in him.

And he had failed her. She had been cursed and he could not save her, not from herself, not from Niall, not from him and his reckless ways. What had he been thinking propositioning the witch in front of her seconds after she had indicated that she could hear him?

She gave him perfect love and perfect trust and he gave her failure and pain.

She was better off with the Fae.

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

"TAKE ME BACK!" Sookie screamed as loud as she could, but the man whose name she did not know either could not hear her or did not care. "I WANT TO GO BACK TO ERIC!" When she was with Eric she could make her body respond at least a little, now it was just a meat prison for her mind and soul that would not move or obey her commands to speak.

"ERIC! ERIC!" She screamed his name over and over but he did not come. She sat down in her fake kitchen, which seemed to be some sort of construct in her mind from the spell and cried.

"Don't you give up on me, stupid vampire!" she whispered between sobs as she held herself and rocked back and forth.

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

Fifteen minutes after Niall left his office his phone rang.

"Northman."

"Come to the residence that you took Sookie to last night. Come alone. Come now." Eric hung up after the click and debated whether or not to go.

In the end it was his need to do _something_ that pushed him into motion.

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

When he arrived at his home he found her on his sofa still sleeping. She was alone in his house, but there was a note on the table beside her sleeping form.

_**"I will give you until sunset tomorrow to break the spell. You have everything you need to do it yourself. Do not engage the witch. Doing so will bring harm to Sookie. If you fail I will take her with me to Fae forever.**_

_**Niall**_

Eric crushed the note in his hand and knelt beside the couch, placing his head on her sleeping chest again. He heard her sigh at his touch and knew that she knew he was there. He was right there and had no idea how to reach her. Rising, he slipped under her on the sofa, laying her body along the length of his, turning her head to the side and wrapping his arms around her to hold her closer to him.

"I'm not as good at this as you are, Sookie. You busted two curses at once that night and I can't even figure out how to do one." Not really expecting her to answer he asked, "What do I do, Sookie? How can I help?"

"Want me?" she mumbled.

"Want you to what, Sookie?" he asked, hanging on her every murmur. She growled then, faintly, and took a deep breath.

"Do…you…want…me?" she asked slowly, each word getting fainter as she spoke.

Was this a trick? He had offered himself to her in the kitchen in their shared dream and she had told him to keep his clothes on. If he said that he wanted her, would she stop talking to him? If he told her he didn't then would she stop talking to him?

He did not know what to do.

"Truth," she whispered, straining to be heard.

_The truth. She wants the truth. Better to be hung for the lion he truly was than for the sheep he would be pretending to be._ He took a deep breath, dragging in the scent of her sunshine hair in case this was the last time he ever got to be this close to her. Then he just went for broke.

"The truth, Sookie Stackhouse, is that from the moment you walked into my life I have wanted nothing and no one else. I have killed for you, followed you, taken bullets for you, I have protected you, and given you my blood.

"When the witch told us that you were my heart's desire I had only known you for several hours, and still I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was right. When you came to me with love and trust in your eyes and offered me your life, making even me believe that you were safe with me, I knew why I held you above all others.

"When I was buried between your thighs and all my memories came flooding back I knew that I love you, Sookie Stackhouse. I always had. I always will.

"You were right that night, it wasn't the spell, it was how we felt about each other that saved us in that moment that could have easily gone so horribly wrong. But you made it ok. You always make everything ok.

"Do I want you? Fuck, I don't know how do anything else! If Niall tries to take you from me tomorrow night I will fucking kill him, or he will kill me and then at least I will have some peace from this monstrous love you planted inside me that is eating me up one piece at time while you lay there and do nothing but suck air.

"Damn you for making me feel this way, Sookie Stackhouse! I lived for a thousand years and relished every moment before I met you and now the True Death sounds like a fucking vacation!

"Wake up you miserable little bitch! Don't you leave me in this unending hell all alone! WAKE UP AND LOVE ME, TOO!"

He heard her sniffle then, and felt his shirt growing wet from her salty tears.

"You really are a doofus, Eric Northman," she whispered turning her head to look him in the eye.

"What's a doofus?" he was so shocked to see her awake it was all he could think to say.

"A doofus is someone who yells at someone when he tells them that he loves them."

"Ah, then I guess you would be right. I am a doofus," he said softly, bringing his hand up to wipe her tears away. "Are you really awake, Sookie or am I just dreaming again?"

Rather than answer, she kissed him, slowly and as she lingered he crushed her to him and took control of the kiss, pushing all his love and frustration into that one connection he had with her. When he broke the kiss he looked into her eyes and asked, "Will you be a doofus now, too?"

"No, I'm just going to be an idiot." He frowned, not understanding.

"Why an idiot, Sookie?" She sighed and started placing tiny baby kisses all over his face.

"Because only an idiot could love a doofus." He crushed her too him, kissing her face now as she had done his.

"So, from here on out I will be your doofus, and you will be my idiot!"

"More often that we could possibly imagine, I expect," she told him as she hugged him tightly.

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

Niall watched them whisper lovingly to each other for a few more minutes and then he took his leave from the corner knowing that he was leaving his granddaughter in good hands with the Viking. He wasn't sure he understood the love that existed between them, but he could tell that it was real, not only because it broke the spell, but because hearing the Viking declare his love for Sookie had broken his own heart just a little.

It called to mind when he had once felt that same way, in another time and in another place.

32XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX23

She was in the middle of kissing him and pushing up his shirt when she remembered that she was still mad at him. "Wait, wait!" she said pulling back.

"What?" he was practically cross eyed from her kisses and now that he could feel her again in the tie they shared he had felt her go from loving to angry so quickly it made him dizzy. "What have I done now that has angered you so?"

"Olivia."

"What of her? She is not here," he motioned to the room around them. "She does not hold my heart like you do."

"Then why did you offer yourself to her? As though it were nothing at all!"

"Because it was as you say, 'nothing at all.'" She sat up then, distancing herself from him.

"Is…is it nothing at all when you offer yourself to me then?" He growled, how could she not understand? How could he get her to see? Perhaps she was just too young, or perhaps, I am too old, he thought as he struggled for the words that would convince her once and for all where she stood with him.

"I would have done anything to get you back."

"Including sleeping with Olivia?" she pressed, her arms crossed, her face pinched in anger.

"Yes. Or I would have killed her, neither would have mattered to me."

"But then how can this," she said motioning back and forth between them, "be different than that?"

"I don't know, but it is, and surely even you know that! Is it not different with me than it was with Compton? Is what we have between us not different for you as well?" he demanded.

"We're not talking about me, Eric. We are talking about you boinking that damned witch!"

"Yes and no," he sighed then and sat up to try and find better words. "If I had been the one that was cursed what would you have done for me? What _**did**_ you do for me?" his tone softer and pleading, begging her to find some understanding in her hard angry little heart. "When Hallow had me strapped in silver your first thought was place yourself between us and face her down with no thought for your own safety. You gave yourself to me completely to ease my suffering from her magics and you broke not one but two spells with the love in your heart.

"Is it too much for you to understand that while I didn't do it as well as you did, I was trying to do the same things for you, in my own way?" When she didn't answer him, he tried one last time to understand what was in her heart. "Do you wish to take it back, Sookie? Are you sorry for what happened between us?"

"Don't you ever say that to me, Eric Northman! I wouldn't trade that moment or those feelings for anything else in the world!" She had come across the couch now and had her finger pointed into his chest. "Don't you ever say that to me!"

"Then why can't you understand that I would have done anything to have another moment like that with you?" he yelled back at her, pushing his chest into her finger.

"I do understand, damn it," she yelled back getting right up in his face, "I just don't fucking like it!"

"Oh, and you think I do when you run off and jump in front of a witch, or a stake, or a murderer, or a crazy maniac bent on burning vampires in the sun? DO YOU THINK THAT IS SO FUCKING EASY FOR ME? BECAUSE IF YOU DO THEN YOU ARE WRONG!"

"YOU'RE BEING A DOOFUS AGAIN!"

"YES I AM! I LOVE YOU, SOOKIE STACKHOUSE! IN A THOUSAND YEARS ONLY YOU HAVE PAINED ME LIKE THIS, BURNED ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT OF ME EXCEPT A SHELL THAT YOU LIVE INSIDE OF!"

"AND HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? YOU THINK IT'S EASY FOR ME TO SEE YOU SURROUNDED BY WOMEN WHO WILL DO ANYTHING JUST TO GET YOU TO NOTICE THEM. TO SPEAK TO THEM? TO FUCK THEM? AND YET HERE YOU ARE WITH ME! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL ABOUT THAT? HUH? YOU'RE OLDER THAN ME, MORE EXPERIENCED AT EVERYTHING THAN I AM, AND THE ONLY THING I KNOW IN ALL THAT IS THAT IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME BACK I AM GOING TO BURN INTO NOTHING! THE THOUGHT OF SOMEONE ELSE TOUCHING YOU MAKES ME WANT TO STRANGLE THEM AND YOU FOR LETTING THEM! WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?" He leaned in closer to her face, his lips almost touching hers and he whispered to her.

"I think you are being a doofus, Sookie Stackhouse." He kissed her then, she expected it to be furious and demanding to match the angry tone of his yelling but it was soft and compelling, gentle and loving. It took her breath away. It took her anger away. It took all her doubts away. He moved to kiss her neck, another tender assault that passed through her walls effortlessly. "You said in the cemetery that you had to keep yourself awake and not live in in the dream of what might have been," he told her in between kisses. "Let me give you that dream, Sookie. Dream it with me for every moment that we have."

She pulled him up and kissed him then, overwhelmed that not only had he heard her, but he had actually listened to her. "Every moment we have," she vowed to him when the kiss ended.

"I will show you the world," he promised her.

"I will teach you how to keep your pants on when you aren't with me," she promised him.

"Hrm, I'm with you now," he pointed out to her.

"You better be with me always, big boy," she told him.

"Always," he promised.

~~~THE END~~~


End file.
